So, we’re about half way through NaNoWriMo. Things may be going swimmingly, you may be rattling out the most spectacular prose you’ve ever written and be well on your way to becoming the next Lee Child/Stephen King/Charles Dickens.

Or maybe not.

Maybe every word is like pulling teeth and it looks like you’ll struggle to get enough words for a kid’s picture book, let alone a novel. I haven’t taken the NaNo plunge yet, my schedule never seems to line up, but I can provide support of dubious value.

Don’t Give Up!

Seriously, 15 days is plenty of time to right a novel. All you need to do is inject one of these award-winning* plot twists into your manuscript and you’re be unblocked quicker than a really blocked thing is unblocked by someone who’s really good at unblocking things that are blocked.

The sun explodes
Beavers burst through the walls and begin eating everyone
The hero loses her voice
Zombies!
Aliens!
Vampires!
Alien zombies!
Alien zombie vampires!
A chain-smoking marmot arrives with a briefcase
The dream was real
It starts to rain kumquats
The universe collapses in on itself
A popular internet meme comes to life and starts eating everyone
A popular internet meme comes to life and starts hugging everyone
A giant boulder appears
A giant bowler hat appears
The hero is a chain smoking marmot in disguise
The planet implodes
A dimensional portal opens
A robot from the future appears and tries to terminate kill the hero to stop her from saving the world
Global warming!
A beloved cartoon mouse bursts from the chest of the hero
The bad guy is a chain smoking marmot in disguise
A car explodes
A small boy brings a mysterious message
Gravity stops working
The room catches on fire
It starts snowing
A nearby hipster whispers a riddle
The hero gets amnesia
The lights/sun/stars go out
The roof collapses
The floor collapses
The hero’s pet marmot starts chain smoking
They kiss
A young man arrives on the scene and tells the hero how it all ends
The hero gets drunk
The hero accidentally opens up the gates of hell
Giant space worms attack
The hero’s ex arrives and demands payment for that thing they did for the hero

If for some bizarre reason you do make use of one of these ideas, let me know in the comments. I’ll want to see proof.

Good luck and DON’T GIVE UP

* No actual awards were won in the making of this post

[“NaNoWriMoLax” by Philip Harris first appeared on Solitary Mindset on 15th November 2014]